Fast Food

It’s time again for another exciting edition of Haiku Wednesday! This ones a doozy!

Oh, you’re in a rush?

Let me cook your chicken fast…

Mmm, Salmonella!

That terrifying moment when little Marty realizes that his death will be by an avalanche of deliciousness
I legitimately laughed so hard I cried

That terrifying moment when little Marty realizes that his death will be by an avalanche of deliciousness

I legitimately laughed so hard I cried

Some dogs have arthritis or a limp which makes it difficult for them to walk, or they may not be able to walk very far. If their owner still wants to go on a walk and wants to take their dog with them, it's practical to have a dog stroller. Don't assume that every person who has a dog stroller does it to coddle or baby their pets. It's rude to do that, and obviously is an incorrect assumption.

WOW, you sure did think that through. You must have a lot of time to think about things like this. Go you!

Paging Dr. Goldstein


This haiku was inspired by my (sexy) dentist, Dr. Goldstein, whom I had the pleasure of seeing today! I know, I know, it’s not Wednesday! You’re welcome anyway :)

The dentist awaits

to clean my lustrous chompers

hope we wears those gloves

A rapper that’s not a narcissist? That’s so 90s!

Have a splendid awesome song Friday!

Color Me Rad


This week’s gem comes from me (obviously). This weekend I ran the color me rad race and it was awesome! Here is my story:

Color Me Rad Race

Rainbow cornstarch in my face

Wonka would be proud

"This is how we do it. It’s Friday night and I feel alright…"

Fun Fact: Montell Jordan was a pimp in 1995, but Is now a pastor…?!?

Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:

Pimps and Pastors: Happy Friday Everyone!

Senior Citizen Inspired Haiku

Some Old People Like it Hot

Your soup isn’t hot?

at least you’ve got your health

stupid dinosaur


This week’s Awesome Song Friday comes to us all the way from 2005.

It’s “Ridin’ Dirty” by Chamillionaire. See what he did there? Chameleon+Millionaire=Chamillionaire. GENIUS!

Sims-addicts Anonymous


Hello my name is Jenna and I am a Sims- addict.

I have been clean for 3 years 4 months and 17 days.

It feels like an eternity

In the time I’ve been clean, I’ve turned my life around. I’ve managed to find a few real friends, (Agnes, Murray, and Jack) maintain a steady job and find someone to marry me. (Results not typical)

Prior to getting a grip on my serious Sims addiction, I would spend countless hours playing, taking the game way too seriously and only leaving my room for snacks and bathroom breaks. I would get tremendously excited when a mother was giving birth, nail-bitingly nervous when I was proposing to my real life crush whom I had made into a Sim, and even shed a tear when one of my beloved Sims passed.

Why are the Sims so insanely addictive?

Surely there is a reason why one would chose to neglect their real-life responsibilities, abandon all their friends, and isolate themselves from the world in order to spend countless hours playing a game

The answer is simple: You get to play God.

You can become whatever your heart desires. You can be as rich as you want! You can cheat! You can steal!  It’s like being able to live out all of your wildest fantasies, even though in real life they would never ever happen. (Who are you kidding? You don’t even have friends anymore, you dirty addict)

If you are one of the many people who play the Sims you would have to agree that you may be the one to make and influence the lives of your Sims, but you are really the one who is controlled.

Are you or one of your loved ones addicted to the Sims?

Recognize the signs. You might be addicted if:

  • You find yourself thinking about the Sims even when you are not playing the game
  • You promised yourself you’d be in bed by 12 and yet you find yourself still up at 4 in the morning
  • You find yourself constantly humming the music from the game
  • You find yourself talking Simish to your cat, Captain Nibbles
  • You’ve played the game for 3 straight days, have done nothing productive since you’ve installed the game, and you never wear pants anymore. You also smell like a dirty hobo.

If you or someone you know exhibits any of these signs, do not hesitate to take action!

Take away their Sims CD immediately!

Sims-addiction is a powerful thing. It can ruin your life AND your computer!

THE MORE YOU KNOW: If you spend half as much time in real-life skill building as you do in The Sims, you could be a pretty cool person.

(Not awesome though, awesome takes practice)